Alternate post title: What I Learned This Summer
1. “I’m gonna have (insert type of food here.) Is it good?” Do you really think I’d tell you if it was bad? Why would a restaurant sell food that is bad? There is so much wrong with this question. Instead, try “What would you suggest?” or “What is your favorite?”
2. “Having a hard time counting back that change, huh?” I’ve actually counted back change 50 times today without problem. I just forgot how much your bill was. Thank you for that confidence booster, bud.
3. “I need a refill, but I already threw away my cup when I was here three hours ago.” Um… I’m still confused about this.
4. “I ordered tea, not sweet tea.” YOU ARE IN THE SOUTH, MA’AM. “Tea” is sweet unless stated otherwise.
5. “It’s so hard to eat out healthy.” But why do you act annoyed at me because of this?
6. “What sides do you have?” Please refer to the menu.
7. “Working hard today?” Please don’t ask this. Just don’t.
8. “What is this?” *points to food or beverage* Please just say what is wrong with your order instead of expecting me to read your mind or guess.
9. (Anything that could be taken as you making a pass at an employee.) Need I say more? I’ve never been more uncomfortable than when men I’ve never met give me creepy compliments or wink every time you make eye contact with them.
10. “Hi! How are ya’ll?” “I’ll take a Coke.” Don’t worry, I was just trying to be nice. (Shoutout to Allison W. for reminding me that this is a daily encounter.)
11. This isn’t actually something to be verbalized, but leave a tip. Anyone who is waiting on your table makes less than minimum wage (a lot less in most cases). Please try to leave at least a 15% tip as a general rule.